Have you ever been in a meeting where someone allowed their emotions to get the best of them? Maybe they raised their voice, or did not allow someone who was making a point to land before cutting in?

Chances are you thought, “This person lacks emotional intelligence”.

What does that term even mean, “emotional intelligence” , and why is it important, especially at work?

The man who raised his voice during your stand-up meeting allowed his emotions to get the best of him and did not balance his emotions with logic.

When we make a decision that balances our emotions and our logic (rational decisions), we have made an emotionally intelligent decision.

In the workplace today, emotional intelligence (EI) is crucial because it affects employee performance, relationships we build with our colleagues ,the efficiency of leadership, and the overall atmosphere at work.

In this article, we will explore the four domains of emotional intelligence: and look at ways we don’t end up like our guy at the meeting.

A popular school of thought posits that emotional intelligence is a skill that can be developed through training and experience and to master it, four distinct domains are required:

● Self-Awareness - An emotionally intelligent person is aware of and understands their own emotions, strengths, and weaknesses and how these emotions impact their decisions. These people are able to make conscious choices at work.

● Self-Regulation - This is another key component of emotional intelligence. It is the ability to control your emotions and impulses effectively. Managing your emotions allows you to make rational

● Social Awareness - This domain of emotional intelligence encompasses empathy, which is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It's about actively listening to others, putting yourself in their shoes, and trying to understand their perspective. In very simple terms, this is the ability to read the room.

● Relationship Management - Entails effectively communicating, collaborating, and resolving conflicts with others. Effective relationship management leads to stronger connections, increased trust, and a more positive work atmosphere.

Building and mastering the four domains of emotional intelligence requires intentional effort and practice. Here are some strategies to help develop each domain:

Self-Awareness

Set aside regular time for introspection and self-assessment. Reflect on your emotions, strengths, weaknesses, and triggers. This can be done using morning pages, an effective brain dump strategy.

Keeping a journal where you write down your thoughts and emotions to better understand yourself is also helpful in this regard.

Request honest feedback from trusted colleagues, friends, or mentors to gain a more objective perspective on your behavior and emotions. I recently found my journal from 8 years ago and I saw a page where I had asked a friend to write down what they thought of me based on specific questions I had asked and reading through it, I could relate to almost everything still.

Self-Regulation

Recognize the situations, people, or events that tend to elicit strong emotional responses. Develop strategies to calm yourself and respond in a controlled manner. Pause and think before reacting impulsively. Take a breath and consider the potential consequences of your actions.

A colleague at work told me that anytime someone annoys her , she types her emotionally charged response in her mail and just reads through it about two times. This usually helps her see perspective and is her small way of regulating herself.

Social Awareness

Pay attention to others' verbal and nonverbal cues during conversations. Show genuine interest and seek to understand their perspective. Put yourself in their shoes and try to understand their emotions, experiences, and motivations and Show kindness, understanding, and support for others, especially during difficult times. Practice empathy in both personal and professional interactions.

Relationship Management

Develop effective communication skills: Practice clear and open communication. Listen actively, express yourself clearly, and be receptive to feedback.

Foster positive relationships by finding common interests and showing appreciation when they help.

Value diverse opinions and perspectives. Manage conflicts constructively: Learn conflict resolution strategies and focus on solutions rather than blame.

[Source; Book: "Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ" by Daniel Goleman]

An emotionally intelligent person can be compared to a captain who uses the compass of their boat wisely. For a compass to be of most value, the captain must be able to read it and use its feedback in a way that ensures a prosperous journey. Likewise, the emotionally intelligent person knows how to “read” emotions and manage them in a way that promotes well-being.

Emotional intelligence is a vital skill to have in the workplace. It helps you manage your emotions, understand the emotions of others, and communicate effectively.

Developing your emotional intelligence, can help you build stronger relationships with your colleagues and customers, manage stress, and resolve conflicts.

Building emotional intelligence is (like every other good habit) not a one-day event, it takes time and practice to master. Seek opportunities to apply these strategies in real-life situations, reflect on your progress, and continuously work on improving yourself.

So maybe our guy at the beginning of this article needs to learn to self-regulate, that way he doesn’t let his emotions get the better of him and raise his voice during professional meetings. Let’s build our Emotional Intelligence.

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